All My Ex's Live In Texas
by yomomma222
Summary: Third and final installment to The Rocker, The Shocker, and The Showstopper/Love is a Battlefield storyline.  The road to Nationals is paved in heartache. Rated T for language.


_**DISCLAIMER: Don't own Glee, any of the songs, or the movies mentioned.**_

_**Never planned for The Rocker, The Shocker, and The Show Stopper to have a sequel and definitely never planned for it to be a trilogy and yet…here we are. Just a super long one-shot I had an idea for and wasn't happy till I got it out. Thanks for the reviews on 'Love is a Battlefield', hope you enjoy 'All My Ex's Live in Texas'. Just a heads up, I don't do unhappy endings.**_

_**Movie quotes from 300, Gran Torino, Die Hard, The Untouchables, Monty Python and The Holy Grail, and Batman.**_

Puck and Rachel broke up right in the middle of their performance at Regionals. The team was barely in the concert hall for an hour before the couple had a screaming match in the lobby. When it was done, they ignored one another for twenty minutes, then were yelling again, and just before they performed, they were back to the silent treatment. It would seem New Directions weren't the only group that went into the competition with a battle strategy. Vocal Adrenaline, who had already won their division the weekend before and were headed for Nationals, realized the best way to beat the group was to tear it apart, starting with their two leads.

In a moment straight out of a daytime soap opera, Rachel sat across the lobby from her boyfriend with Santana, Quinn, and Brittany. She scanned the room for him, hoping to lock eyes and share a smile that said, 'Ninety-six more days' but what she saw instead made her stomach turn. A girl so beautiful, she looked like an airbrushed picture from the cover of a magazine, with a chest big enough to knock something over if she didn't watch where she was going, approached him and exhibited all the signs of flirtatious behavior. The only reason she knew such signs were due to her ordered flirtation with Sam a few months prior. When the girl tried to reach out and touch his mohawk, he leaned away and looked at her as if she was crazy. Rachel was three seconds away from crossing the room with Santana to mark her turf, peeing on him in the middle of the lobby if necessary.

"Oh, nuh-uh. Bitch is not throwing herself at your man B! Doesn't she know how dangerous that is?" Santana asked, always quick to start some shit, and always going completely ghetto in the face of confrontation, despite living in one of the nicer neighborhoods in town.

Brittany tried to see what they were looking at, worried for the safety of another person, "Throwing yourself at someone _**is**_ dangerous. One of them could get hurt."

"You're right Brittany." Rachel turned to Santana, "Perhaps we should go enlighten her on the dangers of throwing oneself at the wrong person."

"That's my girl!" Santana smiled proudly, "Britt, hold my shit." She pulled her jewelry off, handing it to her girlfriend.

"If you get arrested, can I keep these earrings?" She asked, holding them up to her ears.

"They're yours Britt. You gave them to me this morning."

"I have great taste." The blonde continued to admire the earrings.

"Wait." Quinn put her hand on Rachel's forearm and stared up at two girls who were conveniently close and, she noticed, also watching Puck and his admirer. She motioned toward them with a nod of her head and the group listened in.

"I think it's so messed up he pretends to not even know her." One girl said to the other, "She came all this way to hear him sing with all these other losers and he won't even let her touch him." Just like Puck wouldn't let Tits McGee touch him? No, they're probably talking about someone else.

"She says his girlfriend's here." Coincidence.

"He has a girlfriend? What an asshole!"

"It's some stuck up bitch who he claims he's in love with but he can't be that love with her if he's screwing Amanda." No big deal, could be any guy in here…with a girlfriend who is commonly mistaken to be a 'stuck up bitch' but is actually a rather nice, caring, and giving girl, once you got to know her.

"He's supposedly some sort of ladies man who can't keep it in his pants." The list might have just shortened considerably, but he wasn't on it because that's not the kind of guy he was anymore.

"And his name is so stupid." Definitely not him. Noah is a wonderful name.

"I know! Who chooses to be called Puck?" Oh.

All the girls dropped their jaws in shock. It was Brittany who found the words first, "I'm sure Puck's a very common name. I lost my virginity to a guy named Puck. Wait…no. Never mind."

Santana was staring straight ahead, "Like sands through the friggin' hourglass." What? As previously mentioned, in our first installment, they canceled _All My Children_. She had to invest her soap opera interests elsewhere.

Just as Quinn turned to her friend, Rachel stood quickly and rushed to the bathroom, passing Puck on the way. He noticed her appearance, and the fact that she didn't even acknowledge his presence, then became concerned. The other girls glared at him as they followed her, Santana stopping to scream something at him in Spanish and smack him in the back of the head.

It only took him a second to say, "To hell with that." And join the four girls in the bathroom, "Rach, what's wrong?" She was hovering over the sink while Brittany held her hair back, Quinn cupped water and brought it to her face and the back of her neck, and Santana stood between him and Rachel, her arms crossed over her chest, looking like she was about to start a fight. In fact, he saw her jewelry had been removed and that was always a sure sign that she was seconds away from throwing down. He attempted to step to the side, to get around her, but she mirrored his movement.

When Rachel finally looked up, with red eyes and splotchy cheeks, she asked, "Who was your friend?"

"What friend?" He tried to step to the other side but Santana matched his movement again. He rolled his eyes and held out his arms, "_Shall we dance. One, two, three, and_?" Immediately regretting letting Rachel drag him into watching _The King And I_ last summer but smiling at his own joke.

Santana, who was also forced to watch the movie, got the reference, and was not as amused, "The friend you've been sexing up."

His eyes widened in surprise and anger, "Excuse me? Whoever the hell told you that is a God damned liar!"

"No one told us." Rachel spoke softly, "We overheard her friends talking about it."

Who's friends? That girl who wouldn't leave him alone? "Is this about that chick in the lobby? She was the one coming on to me and I told her to back the fuck off!"

"Only because you're girlfriend is around, isn't that right, Puck?" Santana was handling the situation. She knew who she was dealing with and, even though she thought he'd changed for Rachel, she was obviously mistaken. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

Without giving him a chance to respond, Quinn put her two cents in, "San will go kick that girl's ass right now and we'll forget this happened if you can look at Rachel and tell her you didn't cheat on her."

He flinched, as if having been slapped in the face, then looked past the girls to his girlfriend, "I shouldn't have to." None of them had ever seen him look so hurt before, "But, apparently, I'm a liar and a cheater and that's all I'll ever be." He pulled his Purifying Stone from his pocket and slammed it into the trash can, startling the girls in the process, then stormed out the door, back into the lobby. Rachel, who realized she had made a mistake, quickly picked the stone out of the trash and followed him.

Once they were out of the bathroom, she called out to him, "Noah."

He spun around quickly, "No! You don't get to 'Noah' me after accusing me of doing something like that to you!" She knew what he was referencing. They had the conversation just a few months prior when she told him there was a difference between Puck and Noah. Puck was a womanizer, rude, vulgar, and slightly terrifying. Noah, on the other hand, was sweet, gentle, considerate, and the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life loving. Puck belonged to every other woman in Lima, and the surrounding areas, but Noah…Noah was all hers.

The fight escalated from there and Rachel had every intention of apologizing for jumping to conclusions until he threw out the word combination that he knew would piss her off the most, "Crazy Fucking Bitch!" Had they been the type of couple who talks through their problems, the whole mess would have been cleared up before she had stormed off to the bathroom but, since this was Rachel (Drama Queen Extraordinaire) Berry and Noah (Badass who doesn't need to explain himself to anyone) Puckerman, with an accompaniment from Santana (I'm going to put my nose into everyone else's business) Lopez, Quinn (Puck hurt me so, naturally, that's all he'll ever be capable of with any other girl) Fabrey and Brittany (The word 'clouds' is weird) Pierce, hurtful words were exchanged, tears were shed, and hearts were broken.

Various members of other teams watched the shouting match, hoping this would affect the performance of New Directions later and it, very well, could have had it not been for a moment that could only be described as psychic clarity that occurred a few days earlier. While the General was completely rearranging the set list for Regionals, she scrapped the song Mr. Schuester picked out for Rachel and Puck to sing claiming, "They're all going to be expecting a super sweet piece from the cute Little Lovers in Lima."

"There's nothing little about me sweetheart." Puck responded smugly, earning a smack in the arm from Rachel but a smile to go with it.

"My point is, everyone knows you guys can do happy ending, love stories. We're going to give them something different. My cat had the best idea last night…"

Which is why, when the curtain raised and they had their backs to one another, several feet separating them, Rachel near tears, Puck's jaw tight and fists clenched with anger, it all looked planned. In preparation for Marc Broussard's '_Let Me Leave_', Rachel stared at the ground, "_How many times have I come to you? How many times have you taken me in? How have you never quite realized that this will be nothing more than what it's been? Why is it that I return to the scene of the crime, though there's nothing I need. Between the moments that linger before us, haven't you wondered why I always leave._" She looked up and out, past the audience, "_Let me…Be who I am. Let me…Leave while I can. You know love don't find this sort of man. So just let me leave while I can._" She looked back down.

Puck stared at the exit at the back of the auditorium, wondering if it would be easier to just leave and forget about Rachel Berry, Glee club, maybe even Ohio altogether, "_How many times have I come to you beaten and broken and under attack? How can you look in my eyes and my heart and not see that there's something I lack? Why is it that I'm as bad as I am but I know that you'll never believe? Why do you still love me, when all I have done is to lie and deceive?_" He spit those last words spitefully, "_Let me…Be who I am. Let me…Leave while I can. You know love don't find this sort of man. So just let me leave while I…_"

Rachel finally turned to him, "_Can't give you what you need. And I'm so tired that I can't breathe. And I don't know if you can see, but my ship is goin' down._"

He faced her and sang, "_And I tried my best to be a man. So I set you free while I still can. Cause I can't seem to change who I am._"

They performed the last lines together, through her tears and his anger, "_So just let me…Be who I am. Oh, oh, let me…Leave while I can. You know love don't find this sort of man. So just let me leave while I can._"

They finished the number the way they started it, turned away from each other, both still tense. In that moment, a theater full of family, friends, and strangers witnessed the break up of Noah Puckerman and Rachel Berry and applauded it enthusiastically, going so far as to give it a standing ovation. That night found them at an after party in one of the hotel rooms, attended by members of the other teams, in order to be good sports and congratulate New Directions on their win. Puck's evening was spent pretending to be interested in some tall blonde with a nasal voice who was going on and on about the floor plan of every mall in Ohio. The only way he could have flirted with someone who was more the opposite of Rachel would have been if he had put a skirt on Mike Chang and spent the night trying to get his hand up it.

Rachel, finally over the CFB comment, decided their break up had gone on long enough and, for the second time that day, she attempted to apologize to him. Her efforts were met with a hand on her arm pulling her back to a very drunk Quinn, "Hell no! If he's gonna be a dick to you, then you're gonna dick him right back!" She looked around the room then screamed loudly, "FINN!" The clueless boy, who had been Quinn's ex-boyfriend since just after Sectionals looked around to make sure she was talking to him. She rolled her eyes, because, as previously discovered, Quinn Fabrey is an angry drunk. She mumbled to herself, "Such a dumbass." Then raised her voice, "Do you really think anyone else in this room is named Finn?" He reluctantly walked over to the duo, "Flirt with Rachel!" She pushed them together, their bodies slamming into one another's.

His eyes widened, "I don't think-"

"Do it!" She looked around the room, "Santana! Why the hell are you crying again? God, you're such a vag!" Then stumbled away.

Rachel looked up at Finn, still pressed up against him in the cramped space, "I'm sorry. She's only trying to help."

"Yeah. I guess. I don't see how me getting my ass kicked is going to help but, whatever."

"I'm just going to go talk to him." By the time she turned around, she caught the end of Puck's glare. If there was a way to fix things before, with the simple apology she had been planning or the one he had been working on, it was gone when he saw her with Finn and she watched as he whispered something in the girl's ear, grabbed her hand, and pulled her out the door with him. If he was going to be accused of having sex with another girl, who was he to disappoint?

They both sat as far away from each other as they could get on the bus ride back to Lima. Neither talking to anyone for the entire trip. They went through the motions at school on Monday and, in Glee rehearsal, they were on opposite sides of the room when Mr. Schuester walked in, "I'm so proud of you guys for your win this weekend. I have great news. It would seem that being last years National champs comes with it's perks. Principal Figgins is redistributing the schools wealth and giving us a portion of it."

Tina raised her hand, "Is that why Coach Sylvester has been standing in the doorway, growling for the past fifteen minutes?"

"Ignore her. With the money we're getting, we can afford airfare to Texas AND hotel rooms." All but two members of the group smiled and clapped, "All you have to do is bring money for meals." The kids continued to cheer.

"What crawled into their underwear, burrowed into the flesh of their genitals, and laid eggs?" Even Sue noticed Rachel and Puck's lack of excitement in receiving HER money.

"That's none of your business Sue. Don't you have spirit sticks to bedazzle?"

She walked into the room and stared him down, "Tell it to the troll hiding in your hair, waiting to jump out and collect money for passing over the bridge that connects your eyebrows."

He looked confused for a second then realized what she was saying, "I don't have a uni-brow Sue."

She had moved on, "I've got news for you Sugar Plum. You and your dancing fairies don't come into my house and steal from me. You know what we do to home invaders where I'm from? I'll give you a hint. It involves sandpaper, twelve packets of Splenda, a colony of fire ants, and whatever reproductive organ you have hiding on the other side of that zipper. I'm still not sure whether it's a penis or a vagina and I don't think you are either." She straightened up and looked at the terrified teens, "Now, to ensure that my money is being well spent, I'm going to be in this room, everyday, observing whatever the hell it is you do. In addition, I will be going with you to Texas where, if you fail, I will take you into Mexico, cram several pounds of cocaine into each of your rectums, then leave you in the immigration line back at the border. Do I make myself clear?" Those who actually cared what she was saying simply nodded in understanding. She took an empty seat, crossed her arms, and waited.

Will finally managed to form words, "Ok. Well…since we're going to Texas, I want everyone to get into the right state of mind so, this week's assignment is country music."

"Lame." Sue called out.

He ignored her, "I'll start planning our set list for Nationals and we'll begin rehearsing next week."

"So I have a week to decide whether or not to kill myself. Fair enough."

He exhaled in frustration, "In the meantime, partner up and do some vocal exercises while I go talk to Principal Figgins about this new arrangement."

On Tuesday, Will walked into the choir room, hoping Sue wasn't serious about attending every practice. The principal was as useless as ever in getting her out of Glee Club and told Will to just ignore her until she lost interest. She was seated, front row center, in a blue track suit, arms crossed in front of her. He tried to follow Figgins' advice, being the bigger person, and pretended she wasn't there, "Alright, who's first? Puck?"

Rachel stared at her hands as he picked up his guitar, sat down on a stool at the front of the room, and began to sing, Kinky Friedman's _'They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Anymore_'.

He made it all the way through the second verse of a song filled with racial slurs and offensive lyrics before Will stopped him, "That's enough Puck. I was hoping you'd take this assignment more seriously."

"He was the only Jewish country singer I could find Mr. Schue. I worked with what I had."

"I don't know." Sue commented, "I kind of liked it."

"Quinn. Let's hear what you've got." She left her seat and stood in front of the piano then began singing Chely Wright's '_Single White Female_'. Finn looked confused as she seemed to be singing it to a smiling Artie. When the hell did that happen? She finished the song in his lap, her arms resting on his shoulders, while the group applauded her performance, "Very nice Quinn. You completed the assignment and, apparently, conveyed a message. Nice work."

Sue rolled her eyes, "Good God, there's more incestuous behavior in this group than in an entire season of the Donny and Marie Show."

On Wednesday, the performances continued. Will scanned the room, "Rachel." She looked up, "How bout it?"

"I don't feel up to the assignment this week Mr. Schuester." She looked back down, not noticing the, bordering on concerned, glance thrown her way by Puck.

"Alright. I guess we can make an exception just this once. Any volunteers?" Will asked.

"We'll go Mr. Schue." Sam stated as he and Artie made their way to the front of the room, "So, neither of us is really into country music."

"But, after an extensive five minute search on Google, we found this group called The Lacs and their country rap song, '_Kickin' Up Mud_'." Artie added.

"We figured, if we have to sing country, we may as well look cool doing it." Most of the team danced around to their selection while Sue rolled her eyes and simply walked out.

Will hoped that was her way of saying she was already done dealing with the club but, on Thursday, she was back in her seat, arms crossed and waiting. He didn't look in her direction, jumping straight to business, "Blaine, Kurt?"

The boys, who had been wearing flannel shirts all week in order to get into character for their performance, reached under their chairs and pulled out cowboy hats then tied bandanas, that coordinated with their outfits, around their necks. Everyone was expecting a classic country ballad but, in a surprising move, they sang '_Save a Horse, Ride A Cowboy_' by Big and Rich.

Kurt sat next to Rachel, placing his arm over her shoulders as he said, "_I'm a thorough bred, that's what she said, in the back of my truck bed, as I was getting' buzzed on suds, on some back country road._"

Blaine sat on her other side, drawing her attention away from Kurt, and continued, "_We were flying high, fine as wine, having ourselves a big and rich time and I was going about as far as she'd let me go._" He put his hand on her thigh with a wink.

Kurt grazed his pointer finger down her cheek and she turned back to him, "_But her evaluation, of my cowboy reputation, had me begging for salvation all night long._"

To steal her back, Blaine put his hand on the other side of her face and turned it toward him, "_So I took her out giggin' frogs, introduced her to my old bird dog, sang her every Willie Nelson song I could think of…_"

On either side of her, they exclaimed together, "_And we made love_!" At the declaration, she couldn't resist the urge to laugh which, Kurt would never admit, but was the whole point to their song selection and attire.

Sue was not amused, "That was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen and, let me tell you, I've been to child labor factories in Vietnam where three month old infants operated sewing machines, toured animal slaughter houses for fun, and have witnessed, I kid you not, a dime that was inserted into the rectum…"

"What is it with her and rectums?" Sam asked Puck, earning a scowl from the boy who had not forgotten his flirtation, albeit staged, with his ex-girlfriend.

"…guided through the digestive tract by what can only be described as a complete mastery of the bowels, and spit out from the mouth in the form of five pennies and a nickel." Everyone stared at the woman, the girls disgusted and most of the boys in awe.

They were broken from their trance by Mr. Schuester, "Finn. You're up."

"Ok. I chose Johnny Cash, '_Get Rhythm_' because I don't have any." The group laughed then cheered as he sang and danced to the best of his capabilities. Sue made no verbal comment. Instead, she grabbed a nearby waste basket and forced herself to throw up in it.

On the final day of country music week, Santana and Brittany walked into the choir room causing every conversation and movement to cease.

"Brittany, you know you're supposed to wear jeans under chaps, right?" Tina asked.

"They're more comfortable this way." Brittany explained, not seeing anything wrong with the fact that the entire club could see her 'Days of the week' underwear, doubly impressed that she was actually wearing underwear at all and that it was the pair that said 'Friday'.

Santana added, "And way hotter."

"No, it's actually pretty breezy." The girl replied, looking down at the chaps. Will didn't know what to expect but found it fitting that they sang '_Sin Wagon_' by The Dixie Chicks.

The second performance was from Tina and Mike as they attempted the Kenny Rogers, Dolly Parton classic '_Islands In The Stream_'.

Barely ten seconds into the opening, Sue stood, "Stop. Asians shouldn't sing country music. I'll speak for everyone else when I say it makes us uncomfortable. When it's time to play Chopsticks on the piano, that will be your moment to shine." Instead of fighting her, the hurt teens sat, defeated. Tina brushed the single tear away that Mike shed over the incident.

"You have no right Sue." Mr. Schuester had enough of her comments and couldn't ignore her any longer.

It would seem the ability to ignore had been transferred to her though, when she stared right at him and screamed, "Next!" Mercedes walked down to the front of the room and waited, "Well?" Sue asked, expecting her to start.

"Aren't you going to say black people shouldn't sing country music either?"

Sue rolled her eyes, "Charlie Pride, Darius Rucker, Rissi Palmer, Trini Triggs, I could go on but I'm too blown away by your narrow minded, racist, ignorance Lexus."

"It's Mercedes."

"Same difference. Let's get this show on the road, I have a Klan rally to get to."

In true diva fashion, Mercedes chose to sing Dolly Parton's '_I Will Always Love You_', but the Whitney Houston version (she was all about the loop holes), shortly after dedicating her selection to two 'friends who will remain nameless'.

The following Monday, Will walked into the room, "Great job with the country songs last week guys." He very pointedly looked at Puck, "For the most part." Then addressed the rest of the group, "Ok, so our duet for Nationals…" He looked unsure.

"Mercedes can have it." Rachel said at the same time Puck declared, "Sam can do it."

"I don't think so." Sue piped up, "From what I heard, Jew One and Jew Two are the best there is when it comes to the touchy, feely, crap. They're doing it. People don't pay good money to see a Grande Espresso with a sip of milk on the side, sing love songs to each other."

"Did she just call me fat?" Mercedes asked, pissed.

"Or high energied." Kurt replied, trying to look at the bright side of the hateful remark.

"A sip?" Sam looked down at his body, offended.

"You're not that bad." Santana tried to comfort him, "I'd say you're, at least, a quick drink through a short straw." He fought the urge to reply with, 'That's not what your mom said last night', remembering the ass kicking he'd received from Puck a few months earlier thanks to the last joke he made at the expense of Momma Lopez.

"Look, I don't want to force anyone to do anything they're not comfortable doing." Will tried to ease the tension between the ex couple.

"Then why don't you leave and let the professionals handle things William?" Sue questioned.

"You're lucky you're still allowed in this room Sue."

"No. She's right Mr. Schuester. I can be professional about this." Rachel declared.

Puck, not wanting to look like the weaker of the two spoke up, "Me too Mr. Schue. I'm all about the professionalism."

"If by professionalism, you're referring to the world's oldest profession, then I'm sure you can do it."

No one was surprised by Santana's comment. They were, however, by Rachel's response, "I don't think that's necessary Santana."

The latina actually looked like she felt bad about her words and stared down at the ground, ashamed, "Sorry B." Rachel cleared her throat and Santana rolled her eyes then glared back at Puck, "Sorry Puckerman." When the hell did Rachel Berry develop the type of pull necessary to reel Santana Lopez in? Sue noticed the power the small girl held and found herself wondering how to tap it fresh from her veins, bottle it, and sell it to the leading captains of industry or Oprah even. Her show was off the air and she was bound to lose some steam eventually.

"Alright guys, your duet this year-"

Sue stopped him, "I'm going to handle these two. I didn't spend two years competing on the Cuban professional ballroom dance circuit for nothing."

"I can't keep you from observing our practices Sue but, if you think I'm actually going to let you participate in the planning of our-" He was cut off a second time.

"I think we should give her a chance." Rachel surprised the others, "Coach Sylvester has proven time and again that she knows what it takes to win. Besides, if we don't like what she puts together for us, we don't have to do it."

Will was reluctant, "Okay. But, at the first sign of her steering you the wrong way, you come and let me know."

"We will Mr. Schuester." Rachel agreed.

"Excellent." Sue tried to smile but it came out looking more like a sneer, "Let's get to work. Do either one of you have a family history of cardiac problems or an aversion to heights?"

Brittany turned quickly to Santana and gasped, "The cannon."

For several weeks, they avoided each other at all costs during school, didn't make eye contact and, when they practiced their duet everyday because, "This isn't one of those amateur shows that pansy Schuester puts on. If you want to work with me, you're going to actually have to work." They agreed with the coach's morning and afternoon practices, everyday, on the condition that Puck dance with Brittany and Rachel with Mike until Nationals. Sue accepted their terms, only telling them that, if their performance wasn't up to her standards when they finally competed, she'd break each of their ankles, then leave them in the Texas Badlands with nothing but a revolver and a single bullet. If she was feeling particularly kind that day, the bullet would match the caliber of the gun.

Two months from the competition, Rachel saw him at a party Santana and Brittany dragged her to. When they first arrived, he was sitting in a corner, nursing a beer, and looking like, if he tried hard enough, he might be able to stare a hole straight through the floor. But, his Rachel senses started tingling and, without having to scan the room for her, he knew she had come in. Puck jumped up from his seat and immediately started talking to the first girl he could find, not caring that he'd already had sex with her, her older sister, and their mother, in his pool cleaning days.

An hour later, he noticed a jazz band loser walk up to Rachel and smiled when she shook her head at him and tried to walk away. That's his…ex girl. The boy grabbed a plastic flower out of the dining room table center piece and tapped her on the shoulder again. Puck was ecstatic to see her turn around with a 'Didn't I already tell you to leave me alone' expression on her face and hoped she might punch the dick in his throat, just like he'd taught her. He even started to cross the room to tell the kid where he could stick his flower but stopped suddenly when the boy offered it to her and she let a soft smile spread across her face. God, he missed those smiles. He couldn't believe she was actually letting that asshole talk to her AND see one of the smiles she used to reserve only for him. Twenty minutes went by and he was done watching them. He made sure to walk right past her before disappearing up the steps with the girl he had been talking to, then smirked at the flash of heartache he caught in her eyes. He didn't know why he felt like the world's biggest asshole for putting it there but, he also didn't care.

Through the weeks that followed, they played a game with each other. He was always twirling the hair or flipping up the skirt of some Cheerio, watching Rachel from the corner of his eye for a reaction and she would walk around on the arm of the Trumpet Guy, hoping the rumors she had Santana spread around about them made it back to Puck and broke his heart as much as he had been breaking hers. To add truth to the rumors, Trumpet Guy began sitting at the Gleek table at lunch, walked her to her classes, drove her to and from school, and even took the seat next to her in rehearsals after a few weeks.

During Glee Club practice a month from Nationals, Puck finally spoke up, surprising the people around him since he and Rachel hardly said anything in rehearsal, "I'd like to talk about the elephant in the room Mr. Schue."

Brittany looked around, hopefully, wondering how it was possible for there to be an elephant in the room that went unnoticed by her, "What elephant would that be Puck?" A very confused teacher asked.

"I'm not naming names or anything," He glared at the back of Trumpet Guy's head, never caring enough to have learned his name, "But jazz band sits over there. Singers sit over here. That's the way it's always been and I don't think we should start rocking the boat now."

"An elephant and a boat?" Brittany looked around, "Are we on Noah's Arc? Oh! Puck's name is Noah! That's so weird."

"Your input is appreciated Puck but, as long as the band isn't playing, I don't see how it could hurt if the two groups mingled with one another." The boy crossed his arms and tightened his jaw, looking away as Trumpet Guy put his arm on the back of HIS Girl's chair…Ex-Girl, Ex-Girl, Ex-Girl. Several male members of the band dropped their instruments and stood, hopefully.

Quinn didn't bother to look at them, "Not going to happen."

"Not even if one of you had a vagina hidden somewhere under those God awful Bugle Boy jeans you're wearing." Santana added.

"Taken." Tina gazed up at Mike.

"Not taken." Mercedes smiled at them, causing the boys to develop a renewed sense of hope. She dropped her smile, "But not interested." The faces of the rejected jazz band members fell as they sat back down and picked up their instruments.

"Daaaaaaaaamn." Was Sue's only comment. These kids weren't as bad as she thought. Of course, she'd still rather bathe in a tub filled with shards of glass and rusty razor blades than spend a minute longer than necessary with them but, yeah…not as bad as she thought.

With a few weeks left until competition, Puck and Rachel made the mistake of touching during a practice. The pairs started their dance too closely together and, when they both separated for a spin at the same time, there was a light graze of the hands. Had anyone blinked, they would have missed it entirely, but it was enough to set off alarms in each of their heads and cause them to snatch their hands back, calling an end to practice entirely. Rachel left the auditorium with Trumpet Guy's arm draped over her shoulders and Puck walked toward two Cheerios who had been sitting in the front row, waiting for him to finish. He didn't miss the fact that Rachel glanced back at him over her shoulder before walking out. They both spent the rest of the night thinking about the sensation that rushed from their hands, straight to the pit of their stomachs, at the slightest touch, having almost forgotten what it felt like to be so close to one another. Both would be lying if they said they didn't miss that feeling.

A few days later, at another practice, Rachel was becoming frustrated with a guitar player, telling him he was continuously playing the wrong chord. Did Rachel Berry know how to play the guitar? No. Did she spend many nights laying on Puck's bed, his head resting on her stomach, strumming his guitar softly while she lightly combed her fingers through his mohawk? Yes. And damn it, she knew a wrong chord combination when she heard one.

"I'm telling you, I'm playing it right. Unless you want to show me how it's done." He held out his guitar to her.

"I don't know how to play." She crossed her arms in front of her.

"Exactly."

"Look," Puck stepped toward him slowly, "I know you think you're cool because your mom bought you a guitar at the Super Mart a year ago and you spend every night memorizing finger positioning from your little Dumbass' Guide to Guitar but Ra-" He corrected himself, "Berry knows her shit and if she says you're playing it wrong, then you're playing it wrong. Figure it out and don't open your mouth again unless it's to tell her she's right." By the time he finished, he was inches away from the boy, staring him down, "You got me?" Unable to speak through his fear, the guitar player simply nodded, pulled out the book Puck was referring to, and searched it for the finger positioning that corresponded to the chord she claimed he was playing incorrectly. Damn it. He cleared his throat and murmured a simple 'You're right' to Rachel then put the book away.

She smiled shyly at Puck, "Thank you."

He avoided her gaze, "Yeah, well…whatever. I just want to win."

She was still smiling at him, unable to look away, "Me too." Against his better judgment, he let his eyes meet hers and, almost unnoticeably, returned her smile. For the few moments their eyes were locked on each others, they found themselves slowly gravitating toward one another. They were only a foot apart when Puck's eyes dropped to Rachel's lips. He swallowed nervously when she darted her tongue out to lick them then she momentarily forgot how to breath when she saw him do the same.

Over two months of not talking to one another were one kiss from being thrown out the window then and there. So what if she didn't trust him? He'd work harder to prove to her that she could. He called her a Crazy Fucking Bitch? Well, yeah, maybe she was one. It wouldn't be the first time they had a fight then went right back together like nothing had happened and, if either of them had anything to say about it, it certainly wouldn't be the last. In fact, every other fight they had was long forgotten when they couldn't fight the urge to keep their lips apart any longer. It was a very simple three step 'Done, Done, and Done' reconciliation process that they had perfected only a few weeks into their relationship. Step one, re-establishing the lines of communication. Done. Step two, permitting eye contact. Done. Step three, one kiss, six inches of space, was all that was keeping them from reuniting…four inches…two…the loud blare of a trumpet broke them from their trance and they pulled away from each other, Rachel's smile gone and her 'Let's get back to business' face in it's place. Puck turned around and glared at Trumpet Guy. There wasn't even a trumpet part in their song. What the hell was that Blow Hard (Literally. Ever try to play the trumpet?) doing there?

Rachel was certain the events at Regionals were staged to break them up. She knew the second she looked in Puck's eyes in the bathroom but everything had snowballed so quickly that, the next thing she knew, they were singing their break up in front of an auditorium full of people and he was going off to have sex with some random girl. She was so sure, she and a few members of the team traveled to Carmel High School just after Regionals, sat in the parking lot, and watched as every student left school for the day. When they saw the three girls involved in the plot, Santana pulled a set of brass knuckles from her bra and a butterfly knife out of her sock then told the others to wait ten minutes and, if she wasn't back, go pool their resources for bail money because, "The only one allowed to break hearts and crush the dreams of my teammates is me and, if it takes making three bitches look like the Joker, that lesson is going to be taught and retained."

"It won't change anything San." Rachel replied, staring sadly at the three girls who had successfully manipulated her for two whole minutes, "It doesn't take back the fact that he had sex with that girl from the party."

Santana rolled her eyes, "Get over it B. You were on a break."

"For twelve whole hours."

Quinn replied, "You should have just trusted him. This entire situation was your fault." Rachel gave the girl an 'Excuse Me?' glare and she shifted her gaze to the floral pattern on her skirt, "Ok, it was our fault."

"Hurting them isn't going to change the fact that he gave up almost an entire year of abstinence at the first sign of trouble. He was probably just looking for a reason to break up with me."

Kurt leaned forward from his spot next to Blaine, "Are you mad because he gave up his ridiculous re-virginization quest or because he didn't give it up with you?"

"Shut up." And, just like that, the subject was dropped.

Instead of 'Cutting the Bitches', like Santana had her heart set on, they settled for very thoroughly duct taping them together (Why Santana had that much duct tape readily available, no one asked) and leaving them in the middle of the theater stage for Vocal Adrenaline to discover. The next morning, the group read the note that was pinned to girls that combined Santana's anger, Rachel's superior vocabulary, and Sam's extensive knowledge of the torture scenes from _Hostel,_ with the final lines, "You pull a knife, we pull a gun. You hurt one of ours, we send all of yours to the morgue. That's the Lima Heights adjacent way. Ever notice how you come across somebody, once in a while, that you just shouldn't have fucked with? That's us. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Have you ever danced with the Devil in the pale moonlight? Yippee-ki-yay mother fuckers! This is Sparta Bitch!" The ending was confusing, mostly because none of the teens could agree which would be the better line to close with so they just combined them all, but the message was received loud and clear. Any other plans to screw with New Directions were forgotten.

Rachel brought herself back to the present, "Well, now that everyone knows what they're doing," She looked straight to the guitar player and Puck found himself reminded of all the things he loved about her, "We'll run through it one more time then pick back up with it next week." Bossiness always looked so damn good on her. When they practiced the number again, they dismissed Mike and Brittany from their duties, opting instead to dance with each other. They didn't give the dance their all, expressing every emotion the choreography called for but, at least they were touching again. After that, they entered a comfortable middle ground that opened the doors for them to make eye contact in the halls and exchange pleasantries at the lunch table. Rachel noticed that Puck brushed off the advances of the girls who threw themselves at him and he didn't miss the fact that she spent significantly less time with Trumpet Guy.

The final few weeks flew by. All things considered, Will was feeling pretty good about the trip. He felt confident in the song selections. While Sue refused to let him see Puck and Rachel's duet, he was comforted by the fact that neither of them had come screaming to him about their coach. In fact, aside from her occasional snide comment about his hair or sexual preferences, Sue had been fairly tolerable toward the final stretch. He was sitting on a plane next to Emma with an engagement ring in his carry on and, whether or not the team won, he was bound and determined to propose the night of Nationals. Everything was looking up for him and the team until the incident that almost got them all kicked off the plane.

"Mercedes, trade seats with me so I can sit next to Tina." Mike requested.

"I don't think so Charlie Chan." Sue interrupted the switch, "You will not be playing Wife Swap because I refuse to be dragged into it. Do you know how they identify the bodies when a plane crashes?"

"Dental records?" Artie asked.

She ignored him, "Seat numbers. And when I am, inevitably, the only one who walks away from the fiery ashes that were once South West Airlines flight 142, I am not going to explain to the Chang's why both their kids are mixed together-"

"We're not related." Tina added, offended that, again, everyone assumed to two Asians, who were always together and shared the same last name, were brother and sister.

"Or that, if they want Porcelain, they have to trade urns with Q's family…that is if they're back to loving you enough to even want your remains…"

"The plane's going to crash?" Another passenger asked spreading panic like wildfire. Take off was delayed, security was called, and threats were made by Sue to said security that involved bodily harm. Surprisingly, instead of making the team de-board, the men ended up apologizing to Sue and exiting the plane.

With no seat switching permitted, Puck and Rachel found themselves next to one another. When he stood, to let her squeeze through to her seat, she intentionally rubbed her body against his, even though they both knew she was slender enough to have completely avoided any contact. Neither said a word to each other for the duration of the flight, sharing an arm rest, and content to have the smallest amount of skin touching on said arm rest and nothing more.

The group took a bus to the hotel, stopping for a fast food dinner, and got their room assignments from Mr. Schuester, "Ok. Finn and Mike." He held up a room key for the boys and proceeded to name the rest of the pairs, "Sam and Blaine. Puck and Artie. Kurt, after years of insistence that you shouldn't be with the boys, I have decided to let you room with one of the ladies."

Kurt perked up, practically glowing, "Really?"

"Yes. You will be sharing a room with Ms. Pillsbury." Kurt's smile dropped and his face changed to one of disgust, "Rachel and Santana. Brittany and Quinn. Tina and Mercedes."

"I see what's going on here William." The teacher looked at Sue, confused, "It's the old, 'Everyone else is partnered up so there's no one left to room with but each other.' I'll tell you right now, that tonight's your lucky night, since that trick only works once."

"Actually Sue, we both have our own rooms." He held up a key for her. The group rolled their eyes because, big surprise, Mr. Schuester conveniently had his own room and his girlfriend along for the trip.

The next morning, Kurt, Artie, and Mike made their way to the rest of the Glee Club that was seated at several tables pushed together for the hotel's continental breakfast. Next to them, the jazz band was spread out at a large table of their own, "Puck pulled a Lauren Zizes." Kurt reported.

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked.

"He ditched us." Artie explained, "He went out as soon as we got to our room last night and, when I woke up, he still wasn't back."

Mike added, "We've looked everywhere for him."

Kurt crossed his arms over his chest, "Well, he was always practically a male prostitute in Lima, maybe the combination of this atmosphere and him finally embracing his destiny have led him to become a Midnight Cowboy."

Rachel was too shocked to speak. He was gone. She thought they were making progress, taking the three simple, granted, slower than usual steps back to being together. The others spoke rapidly about what to do with a missing member.

"It doesn't matter. There's twelve of us. It's not like we have to forfeit." Mercedes observed.

"But," Tina argued, "What about the duet with Rachel?" At the mention of her name, she finally looked up.

"We'll have to take it back Sophomore style. Finn can do it." Kurt replied.

"The hell he can." Rachel's heart felt like it was going to explode when she heard Puck's voice. He marched up to the table with a purpose, pulled her up from her seat, tangled his hand in her hair and, before she could question his actions, attached his lips to hers in a kiss so passionate, it made the other teens at the table uncomfortable and yet, turned on at the same time. Three months of withheld love were poured into the kiss and when he felt it had gone on long enough, he pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, pushed it into hers then ripped his lips away, walking away and leaving her in a daze.

He stopped suddenly and turned back. Rachel had recovered enough to throw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck, her feet off the ground, as he supported her weight with his hands on her ass, then brought her legs up to wrap around his waist. For another few minutes the people at the table debated whether to interrupt the moment or couple off and go to their rooms. Hell, even Sam was looking good to Mercedes at that point.

Puck was the first to end the kiss again, "Not what I came back for." He kissed her quickly then put her down causing the necessity to grab the back of a chair to support her weight, trying to catch her breath. Puck turned to the other table, pulled Trumpet Guy up by his collar then punched him in the stomach. He wasn't stupid. Hitting him in the face would likely break his jaw, thus leaving them trumpetless, ruining their chances for a win. He walked away a second time and didn't look back.

"B!" Rachel looked down at her still seated friends, confused, "Didn't hear a damn word I said. What's the paper say?"

"Paper?" Santana pointed to Rachel's pocket impatiently. She pulled it out and read it a few times to herself.

"Well?"

"It's a contract signed by Rebecca Schwartzman, relinquishing his virginity…to me."

She didn't see him again until they were backstage, waiting to go on. She ran up to him and, again, wrapped her arms around his neck, "I wanted to apologize to you that night but Quinn told me I had to make you say it first, even though I knew I was wrong for not trusting you."

"I wanted to apologize to you too but Satan wouldn't let me anywhere near you." They began kissing frantically, getting out words between kisses, "I figured, if you saw me with that other girl, you'd storm up looking so hot, tell the bitch to get the fuck away from your boyfriend, then we'd go have some awesome, make-up, dry humping somewhere."

"I wanted that too. Except I wanted you to come over and punch Finn in the face." Finn, who was standing right next to them, looked around confused, "You know what your displays of aggression do to me. But then I saw you leave with her."

The crowd applauded for the finale of whoever it was on stage but it didn't stop the couple's kissing and admissions, "I only left with her because I saw you with that dick Hudson."

"I was only talking to Finn because I was forced to."

"I'm standing right here guys." Finn was ignored.

Puck stopped their kisses and grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him, "Nothing happened with her or any of the others. I didn't even kiss them."

She threw herself at him again, "I haven't kissed anyone else either…although, Kevin did try relentlessly." Santana stared the boy and, almost out of no where, a switch blade was in her hand, the knife extended. Kevin backed up slowly and hid behind the rest of the band as Brittany gently took the knife and handed it to their teacher.

The announcer spoke to the audience, "Let's hear it for The Maestros of Montana with their tribute to Christian Rock." The crowd applauded unenthusiastically.

"I love you." Puck and Rachel were still speaking through kisses.

"I love you too."

"I'm sorry"

"Not as sorry as I am. We wasted three months."

"Not wasted. We're going to have the hottest make-up sex ever." Everyone was surprised at Rachel's declaration.

The applause died down and the announcer continued, "And now, the moment you've all been waiting for…"

"Oh!" She stopped kissing him and reached into her pocket, pulling out his Purifying Stone, then held it out to him, "I always carry it with me."

"From Lima Ohio…"

He grabbed it and tossed it over his shoulder, "Don't need it anymore." Then reattached his lips to hers.

"Last years champions…"

Mr. Schuester came up behind them, "Can you guys wrap this up?"

They separated again but barely had half an inch of space between their lips, "Later." She repeated the word he whispered into her ear the same time last year.

"New Directions!" The crowd cheered again, long enough for her to pull Puck to their positions on stage.

The curtain raised to reveal him behind her, one arm wrapped around her waist and the other crossed over her body, hand on her cheek, guiding her face toward his. Her eyes were barely open as he began Belinda Carlisle's '_I Get Weak_'. Instead of the regular beat, it was slowed down and more sultry, "_When I'm with you, I shake inside. My heart's all tangled up. My tongue it's tied. It's crazy. Can't walk, can't talk, can't eat, can't sleep. Oh, I'm in love. Oh, I'm in deep._" He pushed a lock of hair behind her ear and, just when everyone thought it was another stand and sing a love song together moment, Puck slowly spun Rachel out, then pulled her into him, beginning their dance. Now, if anyone had told Noah Puckerman three months ago, when he and Rachel broke up, that he would be dancing a rumba with her at Nationals, while singing a modified song by one of the Go-Go's, that was taught to them by Coach Sylvester, he'd of told them to go to hell, spit in their face, then let whoever it was know he'd fucked their mom while their dad watched and took notes, "Oh yeah, and that new little brother your mom's pregnant with…Might be mine." Hell, he couldn't have even told you what a rumba was then. And yet, here he was, right in the middle whatever the hell a Cucaracha was, and thoroughly enjoying every minute of it. It's not gay if it's a dance about having sex with a hot girl…right? "_Cause baby, with a kiss you can strip me defenseless. With a touch I completely lose control. All that's left of my strength is a memory. I get weak when I look at you. Weak when we touch. I can't speak, when I look in your eyes. I get weak when you're next to me. Weak from this love. I can't speak, when I look in your eyes. I get weak._"

Rachel did a slow walk around Puck, trailing her hand along his chest and shoulders as she passed, "_Convincing eyes. Persuasive lips. The helpless heart, just can't resist their power._" When she completed the circle, she pressed her back against his front and slowly slid down his body then back up, "_You know you've got a hold over me._" He wrapped his arms around her, lifted her up, and spun them several times, "_You know you've got me where I want to be. Cause baby, like a wave you keep pulling me under. How I'll ever get out of this, I don't know. I just know there's just no way to fight it. I get weak when I look at you. Weak when we touch. I can't speak, when I look in your eyes. I get weak when you're next to me. Weak from this love. I'm in deep when I look in your eyes. I get weak…I get weak._" While she sang the last line, he hitched her leg up on his, holding it in place with his hand high on her thigh, then dipped her in a circular motion, pulling her back up into him.

They continued their dance and sang together, "_Just a kiss you can strip me defenseless. Just a touch, I completely lose control. All that's left of my strength is a memory. I get weak when I look at you. Weak when we touch. I can't speak when I look in your eyes. I get weak when you're next to me. Weak from this love. I can't speak when I look in your eyes. I get weak._" They finished with him holding her close, her arms clinging tightly to him, in a low dip that required him to stand in a lunge and bend forward, supporting the weight of both of them and softly sang the last line into each other's lips, "_I get weak_."

Will was speechless at their performance, wondering if, maybe, he shouldn't bring Sue on as an assistant coach next year. The rest of the group joined them on stage, Santana literally having to grab Rachel and pull her away from Puck. Finn spoke out to the theater, "This is our salute to Texas." Quite a few members of the audience groaned, knowing that if they heard any more Christian music, '_All My Ex's Live In Texas_', '_Deep In The Heart Of Texas_', '_The Bluest Eyes In Texas_', '_God Blessed Texas_', any thing by the band Little Texas or any more country songs, _period_, they were going to burn the theater down.

The group harmonized, A cappella style, "_'Cause God blessed Texas with His own hand, brought down angels from the promised land._" A match was struck somewhere in the back row, "_Gave 'em a place where they could dance. If you wanna see heaven brother here's your chance. I've been sent to spread the message…_"

The jazz band drummer hit a steady four count on the partially closed high hat as the rest of the band joined in with a rock beat and Puck screamed, "_Let the bodies hit the floor, Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the flooooooor_!" Because Drowning Pool…from Texas.

Before going into any other lyrics, the beat of the song changed into a short Roy Orbison '_Pretty Woman_', ZZ Top '_She's Got Legs_' mash up sung by Finn and Sam. Both musical greats having originated in Texas.

Again, the beat changed as Artie rapped, "_They see me rollin'. They hatin'. Patrolling they tryin' catch me ridin' dirty. Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty…My music so loud, I'm swangin'. They hopin' that they gonna catch me ridin' dirty. Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty…_" Chamillionaire. Also from Texas.

The band switched back to a rock beat and Santana briefly sang The Mars Volta's, '_L'Via L'Viaquez_', just before Rachel went into the chorus of Flyleaf's '_Fully Alive_'.

Puck belted out a verse of Stevie Ray Vaughan's, '_Pride and Joy_' just before Blaine jumped forward, "_I'm a-gonna tell you how it's gonna be. You're gonna give your love to me. I wanna love you night and day. You know my love a-not fade away. A-well you know my love a-not fade away_." Buddy Holly, Texan.

Followed by a slow down with Mercedes singing part of Dondria's (Texan) hit, "_I don't believe, we were put together, not to be together. And I don't believe, there's anyone out there that can love me better. I don't believe you know how much I miss seeing your pretty smile. Of course we've had our ups and downs but I gotta have you around because_…"

The rest of the girls joined her for the chorus and, when they finished, the band picked up again as the guys sang a portion of Forever the Sickest Kids, '_What Do You Want From Me_'.

Finally, the group came together to sing loudly, with arms wrapped around each others shoulders and swayed, with just an acoustic guitar accompaniment, "_Come back to Texas. It's just not the same since you went away. Before you lose your accent. And forget all about the lone star state. There's a seat for you at the rodeo and I've got every slow dance saved. Besides the Mexican food sucks north of here anyway_." They performed a group bow and ran off stage as the crowd went wild. Finally, a choir showed them something they hadn't seen all day. The fact that Texas had so much more to offer than cowboy hats and crosses.

Vocal Adrenaline was waiting on the sidelines to take their positions, dressed in plaid shirts that were unbuttoned to show t-shirts that read, "My BFF was a carpenter", large gold crosses, boots, and cowboy hats. Rachel Berry wasn't the only one who could revisit quotes from last year, "The applause you'll be hearing at the end of your performance will still be from our standing ovation." Santana bragged then added, "Punks!" As she followed the rest of the team to their seats.

From the second they stepped off stage, Puck and Rachel were inseparable. Every attempt they made to sneak off was thwarted by Coach Sylvester who told them she was fully aware of the power of her choreography and there was no way they were going to leave the group, resulting in a teen pregnancy, that she would likely be held responsible for. She didn't want to bear the guilt of the situation, especially not 'When a bunch of Jews were involved'.

After the awards ceremony, they were forced to endure an entire victory dinner with the rest of the team and their families. After seeing their performance, her fathers pulled her to a completely different end of the table from Puck and insisted she join them in their room for the night. She politely declined and they informed her that Puck's mother agreed the group of them should go on a tour of the city after dinner. It was their hope that the sightseeing would give their daughter time to cool down and remember she was a nice girl who didn't want to disappoint them by engaging in a sexual relationship with a boy who had already impregnated one of her friends. Sure, they liked Puck, but they liked their daughter's virginity intact a lot more. They spent the entire evening calling her 'Baby Girl' and telling her what a wonderful daughter she is and how proud they were of her. She smiled every time she hear Puck growl, "Cock Blocks" under his breath. All it really did was build up the anticipation to the moment they were actually permitted to be alone together. By the time they returned to the hotel, and Rachel escaped the vice like grip her fathers had on each of her hands, all night, Puck found a master key on one of the maid's carts and the couple was going from room to room, in search of privacy, starting with the rooms they knew were reserved by their teacher.

Puck came out of the first room almost sad, "Mike and Tina."

"What's wrong?" She put her hand on his cheek in a comforting gesture.

"Well, I was kind of hoping, with the whole ninja thing, maybe they'd be flying through the air at each other or there'd be swords or something but it was just regular old missionary." She gave him her best 'I'm sorry' face and pulled him down to kiss his forehead.

They tried another room and Rachel looked disgusted when she came out, "Mr. Schuester and Ms. Pillsbury, nakedness, rubber gloves, entire rolls of paper towels, and a jug of Windex." She went to the next room then came out quickly, confused, "Sam and Mercedes."

"For real?" She simply nodded and he pushed past her to have a peak, "Freaky."

Puck poked his head in the next door and kept it there, not saying anything. After waiting entirely too long, Rachel looked in to see Santana and Brittany. She grabbed the collar of his shirt, yanked him back, and smacked him in the back of the head before grabbing his wrist and pulling them to the next door. She looked in this time then came back, gagging, "Coach Sylvester…by herself."

The door jerked open quickly and Puck stepped in front of Rachel protectively to see a very naked Sue Sylvester, "First show's free. Next one's gonna cost you." The door shut in his face.

At the next room, he opened the door, immediately closing it with his eyes clenched shut, "Kurt and Blaine."

She placed her back against the wall and sunk down to the floor, defeated, "We can't keep doing this. The hotel is booked up. At some point, we're going to walk in on complete strangers and end up in jail." Which is how, for the second year in a row, they were denied their urges, ending up in the hotel lobby, Rachel on Puck's lap, resting her head on his shoulder while he ran his fingers through her hair. They spent the night alternating between sleeping, kissing, and whispering about everything they had missed from each others lives during their three months of separation. She told him he was the first person she wanted to call when she found out she was accepted to Julliard and he explained how he spent the night before trying to get to Rebecca Schwartzman. Her home in Houston was four hours away from their hotel and her father didn't appreciate the fact that her first boyfriend showed up at two o'clock in the morning to, "Pick up something Rebecca's been holding for me." It took him screaming her name outside of the house for ten minutes to get her to disobey her father and come out. She signed the paper as he played a game of tag with two cops, dodging their attempts to grab and tazer him. Luckily, the officers were right around the corner from retirement and had trouble keeping up. She held the paper out and he snatched it as he ran past, shouted a quick thanks, and took off down the street, hiding in a neighbors tree as the police cruiser drove by, search light scanning the area. The upside? The neighbors were kinky in the sack so, at least he was entertained…and slightly disturbed. He then showed her the video he took with his phone.

They didn't have sex the next night, or the night after that since the chaperones, all of a sudden, cared what rooms everyone was sleeping in. The day they returned to school from Texas, Puck sat next to Rachel in the choir room, their hands clenched together, her head resting on his shoulder. A newly engaged Will Schuester walked in, "Alright guys-" Puck's hand shot up, interrupting Will's words, "Yes Puck?"

"I'd like to give our country assignment another shot." The teacher was confused by the request, especially since it was unnecessary, but moved out of his way. After kissing Rachel's forehead, Puck picked up his guitar and walked to the front of the room where he performed '_Crazy Girl_' by Eli Young Band because, "They're not Jews but, I guess, a third of their name is. So, yeah," He looked right at Rachel, "You're crazy." He smiled, "But I'd rather have your crazy everyday, for the rest of my life, then ever have to be without it again for another minute." A collective 'Awwww' sounded through the room as Rachel, for the first time in three months, had tears of the happy variety in her eyes, listening to the lyrics in the song.

They didn't have sex that night either, or in the weeks to follow. In fact, it didn't happen until the night of graduation. It wasn't flowers, candles, and moonlight but it was slow, soft and caring. Everything he swore to himself he'd make it for her their first time. When they were finished, she curled up next to him and he held her for while before reaching down to the pocket of his jeans, pulling out a piece of paper, and handing it to her.

"What's this? Did you get someone to give you back your first kiss?" She asked teasingly.

He laughed, "Open it and find out." Puck laid back down next to her, supporting his head with his hand, watching her face for a reaction, and tracing circles on her bare stomach. She unfolded the paper and read it, eyes growing wide, and a smile lighting up her entire face.

"You got in to NYU!" Before he could respond, she threw herself at him, crashing her lips into his, and knocking him back onto the mattress. Thus marking the second time they 'Made Love', as she still insisted it be called, which was nothing like their first time. It was everything he promised her it would be the morning after Nationals last year and, after all the moaning, growling, bite marks, and scratches, he told her waiting a year was stupid considering they could have been doing that all along.

"You know why we waited." She smiled up at him, grazing her fingertip along his jaw, and requested softly, "Say it."

He stared down at her with all seriousness, kissed her lightly, placed his forehead against hers and whispered, "You're special."

Her smile grew, "You're fucking right I am." His eyes enlarged and jaw dropped at her language. She tilted her head up and kissed his still shocked mouth, leading to the third time they ever 'Made Love' because, forget tight jeans, revealing tops, and overly sexual musical performances. Rachel Berry cussing? So hot.


End file.
